A Thank You To My Ex

Thank you. This isn’t a letter out of spite…it’s not a Haha, I won! letter…and it’s not a “I hope I make you jealous” letter. First and foremost, thank you for breaking up with me. I wasn’t happy, and I never would have been happy. I’ve always been type of girl that if something wasn’t broke, then I wouldn’t fix it. I never learned that even the things that just work fine, still need fixing. That’s why I am so glad that you had the balls to dump me.
I wasn’t myself with you. I stopped writing. I couldn’t remember the last time that I even thought about picking up a pen and etching those words across a blank canvas. Writing became a chore instead of my passion because I had nothing to say. By me not writing, I learned my whole life was an act and I really didn’t want to transcribe the screenplay. I wasn’t happy. At all. It didn’t hit me how unhappy I was because I never wrote it down. Because somehow writing it down would make it real, it would make it official, it would put it out there. I wasn’t ready for that. I wanted to go on pretending that life was good. If I pretended enough, I thought I would belive it myself. That’s no way to live your life.

I learned to be a better person without you. When we broke up you immediately tried to sleep with every girl that you met. It was beyond gross to me, but then after that it became beyond sad. This is because the girls let you do it. With 5 different girls, you got away with “hitting it and quitting it” to use gross guy terminology. You wooed these women, got naked pictures, loved them, and then left them. They let you do it. It made me so furious. It wasn’t because I was mad at you, I was mad at them. How could a girl have such low standards to sleep with you on the 3rd date? I then realized, I was that person. I did that. I vowed to never be that person again. I didn’t want to be that girl that slept with someone on the 3rd date and then cried because she regretted it. I didn’t want to be that person where kisses and sex no longer meant anything. I never would have realized these unless I witnessed it happening to other girls. By you screwing and screwing over others. I learned that I never want to put myself in a situation where that girl is me.

Thank you for teaching me exactly what I do not want in a relationship. I was never a profile picture, or a #WCW (woman crush Wednesday). I never got a mushy gushy I love my girlfriend so much post, or any comments on anything. It was almost that in the Social Media world realm I didn’t exist. I was never the girl you would call with exciting news, never the one you’d cook dinner for, or the one you would talk to hours before we fell asleep. I was far away it seemed. I was never anything. I don’t want that in my next relationship. Thank you for teaching me that even though things were fine on the surface – never fighting, always being nice to one another – they weren’t fine underneath. A smooth surface, doesn’t mean a sturdy foundation. The foundation is important.

Lastly, thank you for making me feel like crap about my career choice after we broke up. I will never forget, “You’re a journalist. You do nothing to better the world, you just write about it.” I wish I could print that picture out and look at it everyday. That single sentence right there is why I do everything I do now. It’s why I push myself to be a better person every day. It’s why I’m working so hard to make myself known in the Journalism world. I will be somebody and it’ll be all thanks to you.

Lastly, thank you for making me feel like crap about the way I looked. Everytime you saw a girl walking down the street you just had to point out, to me, how sexy she was or how nice of an ass she had. You always had to ask when I was going to get down to my pre pregnancy weight. You never had anything nice today. I was never beautiful, sexy, or gorgeous. I ended up hating the way I looked. Thanks to you, I will never again let someone cut down my looks. Thanks to you I will continue working to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. NOT FOR YOU. But, for me. You don’t deserve anything.

So thank you, thank you, thank you. When I thought you ended my life by leaving it, you were really allowing me to begin it.

a lot can change in a year.

Hi! I’m back. I’ve missed blogging quite a bit. Life’s been quite a crazy journey since I started this blog up years ago! Thanks to you readers, I was able to deal with the ending of my last relationship.

Let me tell you. Right now, life is perfect. I’m 25 now, and I finally graduated college last year. I like to tell people that I took the scenic route through. Which is fine. I tried out different majors, learned a lot in the class room and out, partied, made friends, lost friends, lived life, and now I’m content to settle down.

I graduated with my degree in Journalism, and I was one of the lucky ones that landed a job in their major a few months after college. I’m a part time producer for a television new station. I also freelance for metroparent magazine. That’s right. I have a 7 month old now!

I’m newly single. My (EX) boyfriend was cheating on me the whole time together. About 15 different girls. 20 different dates. A million inappropriate pictures. I feel like I was meant to find out. He never leaves his phone out or anything up on the computer…and then one day his email was up and somehow a bunch of text messages were linked and I saw everything. We’ve been separated a couple of weeks and he’s already gone on 5 dates, and slept with a few of the girls. So gross. I don’t know how I could have been so wrong about someone. He say it’s all my fault because I didn’t cater to his ego enough. I don’t need that though. I wasn’t happy but I was staying together for our child.

Lemme give my first piece of advice if you guys don’t mind. Do not stay together just because you have a child together. If you are not happy, you’re kid will pick up on that and it’ll rub off on him. I’m so much happier now, and I feel like I’m a better mom. I saw a lot of posts on Facebook about this. This one made me feel like crap:

I don’t like people that are quick to judge. My biggest goal is to have a child that’s loved by both parents whether or not their together. My biggest goal is that my child will never have to wonder if they’ll have a roof over their head, or where their next meal will come from, or if their going to get Christmas presents this year. Parents don’t have to be together to successfully raise a child.

So, let me give you previews of what this new blog will have in store.
I am moving into my first ever apartment by myself and I am thrilled to decorate. I want to make it so homey that I can’t stand it! Every apartment I’ve lived in never was homey, and I hated coming home. It had the college vibe. A buncha couches, beer pong table, and posters slewed everywhere. So that’s that. I want to make Hudson the best nursery ever! AND I’m going to make a cloffice. Which is a closet office. I love them. Check them out on Pinterest!

Breakups are like fresh starts. I said it the first time I started this blog! There’s so much I want to do. I want you guys to follow me along on my dating adventures as a single parent. I’ve never done it before, and I don’t know what to expect. Do I try online dating or is that weird because I have a kid? When is the appropriate time to introduce someone to Hudson? When do I bring up the fact that I have a kid? How do I weed out the losers way in advance because I’m done playing games?

Then of course I have questions that I want to answer. The main one that is boggling me – after you break up with someone why does every single male friend thing its okay to come out of the closet and profess their love?! Also – how am I ever going to be okay with my ex introducing a new girl to my kid?

Then we have the mysteries of life – how can 2 people who do not get along at all put aside their differences to raise a child? We’re actually doing good so far, but we have our phases.

SO THANK YOU EVERYONE THAT CAME BACK! I’ve missed writing. I’ve missed you guys. HERE WE GO.

And Here’s what my life’s been looking like these days!

Pregnant selfie!!

Here we are! Just a couple weeks old. Fresh out of the womb. Lol :).

This was my first day in my new newsroom! All of the journalists I work with are fabulous.

It’s too soon to talk about the Packers…

First Christmas! Hudson got a ball pit.

Still doing good deeds! This is a care package for a soldier through the adopt a soldier program! I encourage everyone to do it.

Little Reindeer :).

Gym selfie. Mmm sweaty and gross.

Alright one more selfie because as a mom it’s not too often I feel pretty haha.

Wishbones, Dog Bones, & Backbones.

I’M WRITING A BOOK! That is right. I’ve been planning on it for years, and I’ve never gotten around to starting it because I’ve been so lazy and unmotivated. Something snapped in me today, where I got this overwhelming desire that I’m meant to do something more with my life then what I’ve been doing. That something is to write the book. The title is called Wishbones, Dog bones, and Backbones. It’s about life, the crazy adventures that go along with it, and how to change it if you don’t like it! I’m super excited. I just finished the intro. And tomorrow starts part 1 of it.

I won’t be blogging for a while, not that I’ve really been doing much of that anyways. But, I will be posting excerpts from my book for you guys to read along with me. Send lots of prayers, thoughts, well wishes, and positive encouragement to me as I go along this journey of book writing! Till then stay up, and stay blessed.

Flashbacks & Dating Awkwardness.

Well hi everyone!!! 🙂 I’ve missed you all quite a bit. Life has been great the past few months. I have a new job at the casino, I’m moving back to the eastside, and I’ve been having a pretty fantastic Summer thus far. As much crap as I talk about Wisconsin, we do have some pretty good Summers. I know I might be considered a bit crazy, but I miss school….a lot. I think it’s the writing and the projects that I miss the most. So I have returned to you all. I’ll update you guys with pictures…then because this is supposed to be somewhat of a blog about dating and relationship advice I shall tell you all a story.

So, story time. I’m dating-retarded. Simple as that. I haven’t been on very many dates in my life. Hell, I can count them on one hand. I never dated in high school. In grade school I had a crush on one kid 8th grade year. We slow danced at all the dances. When his friends started asking if I liked him, I got scared and said I don’t know. So, he lost interest. Hey look, I still do that same shit today! From 8th grade and all throughout high school every wish I had was to have a boyfriend. Stars, prayers, lucky pennys, basically I wished on anything that you could possibly do…and things that you probably shouldn’t wish on either. Have you ever done that? Your playing a video game, or a game on your phone and you say “If I win then I will marry so and so…” Yep I did that.

Anyways It wouldn’t be till many years later when I finally went on my very first date sophomore year of high school to Olive Garden with this kid named DJ. He was paying, so I said fine I’ll tip. I tried leaving 10 dollars on a 35 dollar bill and he said oh that’s way too much I’ll put it towards the bill instead. He tipped 3 dollars. Seeee ya. But, I digress. So. That’s my dating life in a nutshell. After that date, I got screwed over a million times by guys who were just looking to get laid. Then eventually I dated my best friend, who never really took me out on dates. Apparently he didn’t see the need to woo me when he already had me, that or he was too busy wooing his girl on the side.

So this brings me up to a few weeks ago. I swore off plenty of fish, and the adventures that went along with it. I met a few people off there, just to hang out with for the day. Then there was a kid that was on military leave that I was seeing for a few months…turned out he had a girlfriend back home. The male species are quite classy right? So I’ve been talking to this kid for a few months in texting. He’s from North Carolina (Yay, a country boy!) and was moving to Wisconsin for work. I decided to meet him and show him around because he literally knew no one here. Our first date was great. I took him to Donkey Baseball. In case your wondering what that is, it’s exactly what it says it is. It was a charity event, the fire department played the police department in a friendly game of baseball…on top of donkeys. After that we had dinner at a Mexican restaurant, and then had a beer at a local bar. It was nice. He was very polite, he held open doors, and at the end of the night he was like “I’m not trying to come in, I just would like to walk you to the door.” Um that’s when I freaked out. Hello, I’ve seen this scene a million times. I’ve heard Thompson Squares song “Are you gonna kiss me or not”. I had no idea what to do. This is an awkward experience I was supposed to get out of the way in high school, not when I’m 24! So we said our goodbyes, and I hugged him. It was a good hug too, he picked me up and spun me around. Then I floated home on a bed of clouds….Well, no. But, I did think it was an okay way to end the day until everyone was like wah wah you shoulda kissed him. So, I planned on doing that the next date. Ya know, maybe do things right for a change.

So, we went to this outdoor festival Bastille Days because my favorite singer/comedian Pat Mccurdy had a concert there. It was so much fun. While we were there, my 3 friends met up with us. So, after the concert I walked my date back to his car. My friends waited outside the parking structure because they wanted and assumed that we were going to kiss. Well I get my purse out of his car….AND….-drum roll please-…..I high fived him. Seriously. I said Thanks, I had fun and then I high fived him. No need to tell me that that might be the most embarrassing way to end a date. He looked at me like I was crazy. In reality, I was actually just really nervous. So he texted me later and we were talking about everything and arguing a bit because we were supposed to hang out more after the show but then my friends showed up. He goes, “Oh well, it doesn’t seem like anything is really going for us anyways.” So, that was nice. Shame though, he had a really nice house and he played guitar. Not just guitar, he played my favorite country songs on the guitar. So that’s all I got, I’m 24 and just starting to date. Haha. So we’ll see what happens with the next ones!

Just found out that Corey Monteith, Finn from glee, passed away. RIP. Thoughts and prayers are with his coworkers, his family, friends, and Lea.

So that’s all I have for today. I’m back to updating regularly. I’ll leave you with pictures. This Summer has been filled with concerts, boat cruises, bachelorette parties, epic nights, and lotsa wonderfulness. I threw in some shameless selfies too. Haha. Have a great day everyone – Stay up, and stay blessed!

3 Things You Cannot Recover In Life:

The word after it is said. The moment after it is missed. & The time after it is gone.

So I had my first Girls On The Run practice yesterday!! First off I can say that Girls On The Run is one of the best organizations I have ever been involved with. I wish something like this was around when I was younger, because it would have really helped me out in the long run. In middle school and high school I had the lowest self esteem because I was overweight and didn’t think I was attractive. If I had even an ounce of confidence, or the advice that loving yourself is the most important thing, everything else will fall into place if you do that; then things would have been different. Through this organization it’s teaching pre-teen girls to run a 5k while teaching them valuable life lessons.

I met the girls yesterday, I spunky, free spirited group from all different walks of life. We got to know each other through the name tag game which any of you who have ever been in a camp like setting or coach something know about. They write down an adjective describing their name, and then they write their own name after. So I was Smiley Stephanie. The group now calls me Smiley which is fine because it’s true. 🙂 So the girls had to go in the circle and say all the girls names in front of them plus there own. Towards the end we were coming up with nick names, because as a young girl I remember when I felt totally awesome that I had one, even if my nick name was Step On Me. Haha. One girl wanted to be called young money, sadly I told her that wasn’t okay. So we did some activities getting to know each other, and practiced some running.

I’m already excited for Saturdays lesson plan which is to help them with self esteem, since this is something I know a lot about. Because of all the teasing I went through in high school I still have very low self esteem. I hear I’m attractive all the time but it’s hard for me to believe. Partly because growing up I had it instilled in me that I wasn’t. My mother even called me fat numerous times. Every girl should think shes beautiful because every girl is. That is ultimately what I want to teach these young ladies as they go through this program. Our 5k is in June and I think I might be the only one excited so far! The girls are terrified. It’s going to be a lot of fun, we run the race, get to make tshirts, then there is a carnival after for all the participants.

I’m putting my all into this, because the reason I am here is because of Dr. Walter. In honor of him, I’m going to try and touch someone else’s life, and teach them all I’ve learned up until this point. I’ve been through a lot of really tough times growing up. I never had it easy. I’m so upbeat and positive all the time because I lived through it and it made me the tough person that I am today. Therefore, I feel that if I can make it through a bad time, others can, and maybe the reason I went through all this is to show everyone that life goes on, and it gets better. (That’s clearly one of my favorite phrases since I use it a lot!)

I’ve been feeling a little bit better about Dr. Walters death as time has gone by. I nominated him for a teacher award, and I wrote in his obituary guest book. I will be also attending the funeral on Friday. I don’t want his death to go on unnoticed, I want to learn and grow from it. I have been as well.

So that’s all I got. It’s a beautiful sunshiney day in Wisconsin today and it’s my weekend! After this class I am starting it off with a nap an some shopping for New York clothes. It’ll be a pretty busy weekend: I coach, and I work a lot. But, even with all those things going on I just have to keep finding the positive and keep on keeping on!

Have a great day kiddos, take time to spend it outdoors, notice how beautiful life is, and maybe compliment a stranger or two? You never know who is in need of your kind words. Love you all. Stay up & Stay Blessed.

:). some of my favorite times were spent smiling and laughing in a park as a 21 year old, and not  getting wasted in a bar.

#Truth.

True Meaning Of A Break Up

For a while now I’ve hated the name of my blog. “The Break Up Adventures.” It made it sound like some blog being written about yet another dumb girl just trying to get over a break up that in the grand scheme of life, really means nothing. It was a year and a half of my life, and with me being 24 that wasn’t much time at all. Looking at the name made me cringe, but the best thing that came out of my break up was that even though I was sad, I turned it into something positive. I found a way to move on and I did that through this blog and through the life to do list.

So it got me thinking. The term Break Up normally applies to a relationship but in reality I think we can look at it in terms of a lot of different things. When something terrible happens you break as a person. That is the first step. You fall apart, your once solid life develops breaks and cracks in it. You feel empty, lost, not as whole as you used to because something bad happened that rocked your very core. But, then comes the 2nd part of the phrase – “The Up.” You rebuild, and the only way to do that is continuing to move in an Upward fashion. You fix the cracks and the break, and you become something stronger and more beautiful then before. So total the phrase break up has two parts to it, just like the phrase itself has two parts to it. You break, then you move up.

I’m looking at this in context of what is going on in my life currently. I know I need to turn Dr. Walters death into something positive, whatever that may be. I don’t want to just keep moping all the time, in obsessing over the fact that I should have said something to him. I should have showed that someone, even if it was just some student in one of his classes, noticed something was wrong and cared enough to bring it up. Therefore I want to do something that stresses the importance of speaking up in life. That was what all my prior blog postings had been about – Speaking Up about things that you know are wrong, things that outrage you, things that you want to change. Maybe all of this happened, to teach me. I’ve said it before that the reason I was put into this class again (I even said this before he died) was for a reason, and now it’s up to me to take that reason and put it into something that will help others.

I know there’s many people out there that think things should have been different if they just would have SAID something or DID something. We absolutely cannot go through life with what-if’s. Those are worse then anything in the world. Therefore I need to make my message to the world about speaking up and speaking out for what is right. It’s been said a thousand times before we underestimate the power of words to one another.

So in a ways I’ve had a break up in life, and it’s up to me to rebuild.
I will be thinking long and hard about a way to turn what has happened into something that will be a tribute to Dr. Walter, and to show that this man who I didn’t know all that well, changed my life.

#SilverLining?

I’m stuck in a funk / rut/ midlife crisis? I’m not sure what to call it. But, after my teacher died I’m unsure of what to do, what to think, or where to go from here. I know it’s not my fault and so many people have been telling me that. But, the fact of the matter is that I should have done something. I should have said something. I should have at least reached out to let him know that I saw that something was wrong and that one of his students actually did care. Part of me keeps thinking that this isn’t real and that he will show up to class on Tuesday and he’ll tell us all that it was some big misunderstanding.

This is just awful. I need to find a way to turn this into a positive. Because, right now I feel like I made the worlds biggest mistake for not speaking up, and that I am never going to be the same as I was before.

Sorry about the depressing posts lately. =(

Live Your Dash

My teacher I told you guys about previously passed away yesterday. We received the email earlier tonight that he died unexpectedly. I’ve heard from all my friends that there was nothing I could have done and not to blame myself. But, I should have said something. I should have tried. I should have helped.

I lost my stepdad, I lost a good friend, I’ve lost teachers before but nothing hurts is much as this. So, these are my thoughts and advice to all of you:

One person is all it takes to make a difference. If you see something you don’t like, speak up. If you want something changed, change it. I know many of you have heard this before. We are all on this world together, we need each other. You may at times think things aren’t your place to get involved, but just think if not you then who? Things happen for a reason, you see certain things for a reason, issues arise that involve you for a reason. Nothing is chance, nothing is coincidence, nothing is an accident. Our teacher was great. He taught us an English course called Multicultural America that was all about accepting other groups, tolerating them, loving one another. He made us realize that there is so much hate in the world, and change starts with us. This class has changed my life in a way that I don’t think has fully hit me already. He told us in the beginning that some people get nothing out of this class accept a grade, and others lives are changed. I’m going to make sure that I live what he was trying to teach us.

It’s so crazy I keep going back and reading #9 on the list I posted yesterday. It’s true that you should always listen to your own instincts. I’ll  write more tomorrow because as of now, I’m in a daze.

RIP Dr. Walter.

Little Reasons To Smile

Hi all! Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve posted. Schools been a bit crazy!! A few years ago I flunked out of college and was not able to reinstate for 2 years. It was awful. Now, I take school very seriously. I almost had straight A’s last semester, and that is what I am shooting for this semester. I didn’t care before because I was in a major that I wasn’t supposed to be in. Once I realized Journalism was my calling, nothings been able to stop me. Realizing that I’m achieving my dreams through this major is the best feeling, and I want to do everything possible to make those come true.

So, I’ve been feeling extremely blessed lately. I wasn’t sure if it’s my wonderful friends, school, or something else. Today I realized that it’s the little things that happen to me on a daily basis. It’s those small insignificant moments that happen on a daily basis that just make you stop and smile. :). I’d like to share with you guys a few that have happened over the week. These happen to everybody, but not everybody stops to process them. So here they are!

1.) There is a lady who works in part of our school called the Union (It’s a place where people stop to get lunch, hang out, study, etc.) She has a developmental disability but is always so cheerful! She stopped at a booth today that was having a bake sale and the girls working it gave her some candy. She was so happy she started cheering and just had the biggest smile on her face. 🙂 Seeing how happy it made her, made me happy! It’s nice to enjoy the little things.

2.) With the voting that’s going on in congress about gay marriage, it’s been awesome to see all the support on Facebook. I saw one YouTube clip that really put it all in perspective. (I’ll post it in the end of this.) A republican lady spoke her support for gay marriage. She spoke of how she was in love, and her husband passed away 6 years ago. She doesn’t miss the sex (Well she does but that’s not the main point. She got a lot of laughs at this point.) Rather, what she misses was that union and bond of love. Why should she ever deprive anyone of this. It made me realize that love is love, and love is beautiful. I wish all the people who do not support gay marriage would stop for a moment and put themselves in their shoes. If they were gay and not able to marry the one they loved, how would they feel? Awful is the answer.

3.) I scrubbed it hardcore today because I woke up late for my 9 AM class, and I was feeling like complete crap. I’m wearing sweatpants, flats, and a Donald Driver jersey. (Represent!) A man at the bus stop told me that I was one of the most beautiful girls he’s seen as a while. It was just a simple, seemingly insignificant compliment, but it made my day positive. Kind of makes you realize the power of a few words.

4.) I’m leaving for New York in 3 weeks for my 24th Birthday. Just thinking of this and all the grand adventures I am going to have makes me feel incredibly blessed, excited, anxious, and every other possible emotion. When I graduate I want to live in New York City, and this is somewhat of a test run. I’m one of those people that always has to be doing something, changing something, finding ways to make positive impacts on others, and New York is going to be the perfect opportunity for me.

5.) I love meeting people. I’ve probably said this a thousand times since beginning this blog. I work with the homeless about once a month, serving breakfast. I start work next week with a wonderful organization that teaches girls positive self esteem while prepping them for a 5k. And now, I’m going to be working with refugees! I have a class called Global Disease, Violence, and Death. (Yikes!) That mainly focuses on refugee camps. We have a final project due at the end of this semester that has to do with refugees so I chose resettling refugees in Milwaukee. I’m going to be volunteering with an organization that does this, so I can get a better understanding of how they feel about life here. Then use that for my project, as well as hopefully making a difference in others lives! 🙂

6.) We hit 50 degrees!!! This might seem like nothing to most of you, but in Wisconsin this is a huge deal! The sun just puts the biggest smile on my face, especially since it’s been so dark, dreary, windy, snowy, and cold lately. Everyone has been wearing shorts, and laying around outside on campus. The rest of you probably think we are nuts for this. But here in Wisconsin we appreciate the warm up. 🙂

7.) It’s almost my weekend! I have 2 more classes to get through and although I work straight doubles this whole weekend (More money for New York!) I get to go out with my girls tonight after a day of shopping :). I love Thursdays because this is the one day I get to do this!

8.)  I found this super cool website called thegivingkeys.com and I ordered my key yesterday! You pick one out, and it comes with a word of your choice such as strength, hope, love, believe, etc. You wear it for a while until you find someone that needs that word, then you give them the key and share your story. Such a cool idea!! I’m sad I never think of things like this. The profits of it goes towards homelessness. (One of the things near and dear to myself).

9.) In our own pursuits to happiness, it’s important to realize that others may be struggling along their journey. I do firmly believe that one of the reasons that we are on this earth is to help out others a long the way. We can’t do things alone, we can only do it with the help of others. I talked about my teacher before, and things have gotten worse with him and you can tell that he really has a problem and needs help. Class was cancelled again today, and now I’m at that point where I want to ask him if everything is okay but I don’t know how to bring up the subject. I’m retaking this class because I failed it before with a different teacher and I can’t help but think that maybe there is a reason I did so poorly. I’m supposed to be in this class because I want to help him.

10.) Life is short. We need to realize that, embrace it, and live the hell out of each day. If it’s your last day here did you really want to spend it sleeping all day? Watching TV? No. You would have wanted to be doing something, something exciting. One of my good friends lost his dad a little over 2 weeks ago, the day after my dad passed away 5 years ago. One of my favorite teachers who inspired me to become a damn good journalist, lost her battle with cancer at the beginning of the semester. These things really open your eyes to the fact that not every day is promised.

Well I kind of went from little things to make you smile, to little things that make you think. But, sometimes you need to combine both to really learn what’s important in life. I’ll leave you guys with a few pictures, and that YouTube clip I talked about in the beginning. Till then stay up, and stay blessed! Love you guys.

What Would You Do?

What Would You Do?

For a while I was borderline obsessed with this show. I started thinking that John Quinones was going to pop out anytime I was faced with some sort of confrontation, and when I came to the realization that wasn’t going to happen (I live in Wisconsin, the show is based out of New York) I started fantasizing about having my own experiments.

Many of you seen the show, and would like to think that you would react in the best sort of way. You seen that man putting some sort of date rape drug in a ladies drink while she went to the bathroom – you would definitely tell the woman. You hear a lady screaming at her young daughter that she’s too fat to be a cheerleader – you would defend the daughter. & so on & so forth. I was always appalled at the people who failed to step up and get involved when a situation was blatantly wrong. But, now that I am faced with my own What Would You Do situation, the choice of what to do is no longer a simple black of white. It’s a clear shade of grey.

At the beginning of the semester I started a class that I had to retake because I failed it my freshman year. It’s a class about how to be more tolerant, accepting, and loving towards others. I thought I was going to be bored out of my mind, having sat through countless classes on the same topic before. I was wrong. After the first week, the class seemed promising. We had in depth conversations on how to go about fixing the hatred that we have in society. Then, things changed for me because something was off. The teacher stopped showing up. Either he would cancel class 5 minutes before in an email, not show up, or have a substitute teacher. One day I was at class early studying outside of the room when the teacher showed up. He face-planted in front of me. I gathered all the papers he dropped, and then helped him up. He reeked like alcohol, and was still drunk. That’s when I put 2 and 2 together, and realized what was going on with him missing class. His emails always said he was sick. But, after paying closer to attention to him I noticed how strange he acted in class, how he was always shaking, and smelled strongly of booze.

I had an in depth conversation with my friends, 2 of whom have previously taken a class with him about what to do. I was at a crossroads. One of my friends urged me that I needed to say something to him. My friend who told me to do this, previously had a drug problem and he said the reason he changed is because it took one stranger asking him if he was okay on the street one day. I would like to help my teacher, ask if he’s okay, see what I can do to help. But is it my place? How do you tell when to get involved, or when it’s someone elses problem. I was torn because I don’t want to jeopardize the teacher/student relationship or get him in trouble. But, I knew I wanted to help before things got worse.

Cue today. We received an email two minutes before class that he was in an accident on his way over. Now I feel like it is my problem, because I do know what’s going on with him. Maybe there is a reason I was the only one there when he fell that day? It’s a tricky path I’m trying to navigate, but if things are awkward in class because I said something, that’s a small price to pay for potentially saving someones life. The whole point of the class I am in basically boils down to helping one another. If that’s not a sign, then I guess I don’t know what is.

So, I am going to start by emailing him a little later asking him if he’s okay, and go from there. I don’t want to do anything too drastic right now. Have any of you ever been in tricky What Would You Do situations like this? It’s not as easy as when you see it on TV, and you think that you know what the right thing to do is. Life’s a lot harder, when you’re living it and not watching it through a television screen.

^3:00 in the video is incredible.
“Don’t judge. That’s it.”